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Published · 1-minute read

Conditional Femininity

Conditional femininity is an increasingly common phenomenon and gets discussed on dating podcasts. It’s when a woman refuses to be feminine with a man unless he is ‘the right man’. Until then, she acts masculine.

A feminine woman is neither assertive nor argumentative. Instead, she is respectful, cooperative, and, most importantly, pleasant to be around. She is physically fit, certainly not larger than a man of her height.

Men don’t want to date a man in a woman’s body; they like feminine women and dislike masculine ones. Feminism has done a disservice to women in the sense that masculine women will have a harder time finding a man. Conditional femininity keeps women single.

Women generally like masculine men. If a man said he reserved his masculinity until he meets the right woman, and acted feminine until then, he would be laughed at (and rightly so). He would have a harder time finding a woman because his feminine behavior and attitude would turn most women off. Expecting a man to be attracted to a masculine woman is equally ridiculous.

Femininity is (or at least should be) a woman’s standard behavior. Why? Because the only other way she could be is masculine, which cannot be the default for women.

Many modern women live a – metaphorically speaking – schizophrenic lifestyle. They move like a man until they hit age 30 or 35, when suddenly they scram to live a life to true to themselves: a woman’s life, meaning marriage and kids. Having had no practice in being feminine, they usually suck at it. They need practice, but they have little time left.

So feminism has done another disservice to women by convincing them that the only way to be free is to be more masculine and live a man’s life by pursuing a career instead of focusing on family.

This is what feminism has done to women: it has caused them to deny themselves their nature until a man provides a reason to embrace it. That’s a recipe for unhappiness. In this regard, feminism has made women more dependent on men, even though its alleged purpose was to free women from them.

There are some women who will be able to live life in a masculine way. But there’s this Popperian notion that breaking with tradition is hard for most people – too hard. So, too, for women: breaking tradition in this major way will be too difficult for most of them.

Kevin Samuels has suggested a simple test to determine whether a woman is feminine: argue with her. If she barks back, she isn’t feminine.


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I think traditional female culture has done even more harm to women. So while feminism has it’s harms, maybe it can be a bridge to a better culture in the future. And as most wrong theories just regard it as a criticism of existing culture, and as such it can be valuable.

#639 · Ante Skugor (people may not be who they say they are) ·
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I think traditional female culture has done even more harm to women.

Explain what you think traditional female culture is?

#641 · dennis (verified commenter) · in response to comment #639
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